Step by Step Guide to Slay Your Confidence Problem And Unravel Your Action Problem
Feeling confident about how you sell, market, and present yourself isn't a luxury if you're an online entrepreneur. It's essential. Let's see what Olivia has to say. She’s a heart-centred entrepreneur putting her ALL into serving her audience.
But here's the thing: self-doubt’s nagging at her, especially during critical moments like the close of a discovery call. After connecting with the potential client (and building trust) she can't convert her prospect into a paying customer. Even though the prospect is a perfect match for her services and is willing to invest in her learning.
Why?
Sometimes she doesn't believe 100% in herself and her high ticket program. Her potential client is keen to buy but has a couple of questions. She brings up a common sales objection.
Here's where presence is needed, but Olivia’s confidence cracks. She can't make the value of all she has to offer bigger than the potential client's objection.
A loss-loss situation really. Olivia isn’t reaching her business goals again and her confidence takes another hit. Plus, her potential client misses out on the transformation they're so desperately looking for.
Olivia is too easily swayed because she's not feeling solid about herself and her offer. Instead of planting herself in her value and the value she can provide to her ideal clients, she gives in to her prospects’ objections.
People can sense her insecurity. She blocks others from seeing her value because of her low self worth. Imagine all those well qualified leads, her high-ticket clients slipping away, discovery call after discovery call.
She's not closing the deal, she's not asking for the real price point for her high ticket products. Olivia holds herself back when she could be shining. She's got incredible value to offer, but the world needs to see it.
We all know Olivia's story isn't unique. Many coaches, consultants and course creators who are keen to sell high ticket items are trapped in their comfort zone. Let's tackle a common issue faced by entrepreneurs like Olivia.
How can I get out of my head, gain confidence in my business and truly believe in what I offer?
Why It's Important To Heal Low Self Worth – And How Does This Boost My Sales?
Confidence makes a BIG difference in sales, marketing, and presentations. And I'm not talking about pushy sales tactics here!
I'm talking about feeling confident your product or service will change people's lives.
Communicating that value to others and then letting them decide if it's right for them.
I'm talking about being confident enough that if someone doesn't like your service, it won't matter to you.
What To Expect In This Guide
Whether you're a newbie or an experienced entrepreneur, this guide will show you the steps on how to boost your confidence. Learn how confidence leads to success and get the steps to build the strength you need to achieve your goal.
I'll share practical strategies that go beyond clichés for building confidence. The guide starts with how a lack of confidence affects sales goals and gives real solutions to overcome it.
You'll get a better understanding of how self-belief works and see how it affects business.
You'll feel empowered, self-assured, and ready for sales, marketing, and presentations after reading this. Ready?
What Is Low Self Esteem
Let's talk about what low self-esteem is before we look at solutions. And let's be clear, feeling uncertain is part of the human condition. We all feel it sometimes.
If you have low self-esteem you might lack confidence in your abilities and have a negative view of yourself...more often than not. Note, I said a 'view' of yourself. A view or perception is not a fact, it's an OPINION of yourself.
The challenge arises because you take this opinion as truth, even though it's just an opinion about yourself. It's a negative belief, viewpoint, perception, perspective, interpretation.
It's a story you tell yourself.
Why Low Self Esteem Smothers Your Sales And Marketing Goals
It's crucial to recognise the impact these negative beliefs you hold have on the money you make. Entrepreneurs with low self-esteem often struggle to show up powerfully. They can't build meaningful connections, and are unable to show the value they deliver. This will make it harder to close high ticket deals.
Addressing this issue is not just about personal growth, it's about your paycheck. These beliefs about yourself are often hidden, which makes them even more problematic. They're subconscious. You're not aware that you’re holding them. So they wield their limiting power from a hidden place sabotaging everything you do without you realising.
The Stories You're Telling Yourself
The stories you're telling yourself can manifest as self-doubt, fear of rejection, and reluctance to present oneself effectively.
Olivia could be telling herself any of the below common limiting beliefs. Each one of them can prevent her from selling her high ticket coaching.
‘I’ll never close this high ticket discovery call because......I'm not experienced enough. My lack of experience as a coach will prevent success on the call.'..they won't see the value. The potential client won't recognize the value of the product or service I offer....I'm not a natural salesperson. Successful sales are only achievable by those with an innate talent for selling....the price is too high. The cost of the high-ticket item is a barrier, and clients won't be willing to invest....they'll think I'm too pushy. I will come across as pushy if I mention the offer more than in passing and turn the client away....they have better options. There are way better alternatives in the market....I've had previous rejections. Past sales that fell through means that future sales calls will also end in rejection.'
How A Confidence Problem Creates An Action Problem
People with low self-esteem in business often have deeply ingrained negative thoughts about themselves. Negative thoughts make these entrepreneurs feel something they’d rather not feel: insecurity for example. Feeling insecure isn’t pleasant, so they start avoiding situations that trigger their insecurity.
Can you see how avoidance behaviour strengthens the insecurity? They avoid situations that make them feel insecure which makes them feel better in the now.
But avoiding situations that challenge them can create problems in the long term. It means they never confront the situation they feel insecure about. They never give themselves a chance to do or to practise the task they’re afraid of.
They’ll never get the opportunity to learn how to excel at the task that makes them feel insecure. It’s a bit like having a tool in your toolkit that is essential to build your house. But you avoid using it because it looks tricky, you never pick it up, never try it out, you won't get expert at it.
Many entrepreneurs don't realise that these deep-seated beliefs are hurting their progress and success. They have the best sales strategy and toolkit but they don't use it. They can't take action. Recognizing, unravelling and confronting these ingrained beliefs is a crucial step toward confidence and action.
How To Heal Low Self Esteem
1 - Get Clear On Your Vision
The vision you have for yourself as a businesswoman and how you want to show up in your business is crucial.
Your vision will propel you forward and inspire you to take action towards success. I highly recommend that you put together a vision board. Find out what you want.
Let's start by getting clear on what you want.
How do you want to show up in your business?
Why is it important to you to be more confident?
Many people I work with come back to make their vision bigger once they've healed low self-esteem, so make sure you start big from the start!
2 - Practise Self-Reflection And Awareness
Take a look at your thoughts and notice when the inner critic gets louder. Identifying that negative inner self-talk will help you figure out what's at the root of your low self-esteem.
Recognise moments when you doubt and fear pipe up; awareness is the first step towards change.
Spend 5 minutes a day keeping a journal of your thoughts and emotions to identify recurring negative patterns.
Observe your thoughts and internal dialogue when working on a task you feel unconfident about.
3 - Reflect With A Therapist Or Mentor
Fear and doubt manifest in many ways in business, low confidence comes in many shapes and forms. That's why it's very effective to analyse each situation that makes you sweat. A therapist will be able to ask the right questions to bring out each instance and identify each core limiting belief.
Analysing low confidence with a therapist involves diving into specific situations to gain valuable insight. Each instance can reveal an distinct limiting belief. The key is to focus on each occurrence of fear and doubt.
You'll end up with a detailed picture of how low confidence plays out in your career and business and stops you reaching your goals, for example:
PITCHING AT A PRESENTATION
You cringe every single time you pivot into your pitch during your webinar or presentation
‘I’m sooo sales-y and fake right now’ ‘why am I speaking so wooden''I want to disappear.’
Even after trying the pitch a few times, you still can't make it work. People are quitting the webinar as you pitch and you aren't converting. Your worst fear has now been proven right.
‘people think I’m greedy’
So what should you do here? Work your socks off until you feel you earned the right to pitch?
"I need to work harder to prove my worth'
It would be wise to get to the bottom of the problem before you continue pitching so that you can present confidently without being pushy.
ASKING FOR TESTIMONIALS
You procrastinate about asking for testimonials and feedback. You normally just drop the case and don't mention it.
‘I’ll be crushed if they didn’t like something’
It could be having complete nerves at the presentation
‘Everyone will see how much I’m shaking and they’ll think I’m a loser’
When you're coming to the end of a consult call and you're not asking your actual price. You're working on the assumption that the other person might find your program too expensive.
‘She said that she prefers to brew her coffee at home. She doesn’t have money to pay high ticket prices’
4 - Remove Fear And Doubt
Once you've dug up the limiting beliefs, fears, doubts, and low points in your thinking, the goal is to eliminate these mental hurdles. We want to get rid of these beliefs. Once you've figured out what's holding you back, it's crucial to let it out. So instead of letting negative beliefs fester, release them. An action or ritual can make this more effective.
Express what's bothering you:
Take a walk in the fresh air
Engage in sport
Shake it off
Listen to music
Dance
Scream
Do breathwork
Create artwork
Destroy (smash, burn, rip) something that represents the belief to you
Talk with someone you trust, like a friend or advisor. Ask detailed questions when it comes to changing how you think. Use logic to challenge fear and doubt.
Believe that you can resolve this easily and effectively
Acknowledge and appreciate the limiting beliefs you're releasing. Understand that, at some point, they might have helped you cope, but now, they're not doing you any favours.
Discovering these beliefs don't mean you're broken. We all have them. And you're now on your way to natural confidence, and letting go of ways of thinking and acting you don't need anymore.
Let go of these thoughts and replace them with positive actions and beliefs. There are plenty more techniques to reprogram and repattern outdated thought patterns. Get help navigating this process and turning limiting beliefs into empowering ones. You can book a 30 minute clarity call with me here.
5 - Positive Affirmations
Change isn't just about giving up something, it's about replacing it with something positive. Positive affirmations for example, replace limiting beliefs. Self-doubt can be reframed with empowering statements.
Here's how to to do this
Take a look at your list of limiting beliefs.
You now want to write positive affirmations that are the exact opposite of your limiting belief. 'I'm not good enough' ---> 'I'm perfect just the way I am'
Write the affirmations in a language that speaks to you
Adjust your affirmations to the level of faith you hold. 'I sell 5K packages every week' ---> 'I'm starting to believe that I can sell £5K packages'
Every time you catch yourself thinking a limiting thought, replace it with a more empowering one. 'No-one's gonna care about my post' ---> 'This post can lift one person up today'
Repeat your positive affirmations regularly every day. Consistency is super important rewiring your mindset.
Repeating affirmations in a state of heightened awareness allows deep reprogramming
Reach the deep programming state through exercise, meditation, repetitive physical tasks, driving (careful!), when you fall asleep or wake up etc.
The best way to repattern your mind with positive affirmations is with hypnosis. Here, the mind is at its most receptive in a relaxed and attentive state.
6 - How To Get Into Inspired Action
Make sure you don't attempt to tackle everything at once when you're trying to reach business goals. Organise your goals into smaller steps you can handle one at a time. Over time, every little accomplishment adds up and makes you feel more competent and confident.
Make a plan of all the steps leading up to your big goal. Sort these steps into least challenging to most challenging. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) calls this a graded or exposure hierarchy.
When I use this technique in my practice, I show my clients how to plan out a fear hierarchy. We rank feared activities or situations according to how scary they feel. Then we get the client into action with mildly difficult tasks, progressing to more difficult ones.
It's insanely effective at increasing your challenge level while allowing you to experience success after success in achievable steps. For example, instead of jumping straight into something major like 'Doing a TED talk', start with smaller tasks:
Begin by speaking up in meetings,
sharing an unpopular opinion,
or talking in front of a small group.
Work your way up to bigger challenges like
hosting a webinar or
organising a bigger event.
The key is to figure out what makes each step difficult for you.
Is it the size of the audience,
Speaking live,
Dealing with influential people?
Maybe it's the idea of your family or friends watching.
Is it the time pressure of having only a few minutes to speak?
etc
This method helps with public speaking as well as setting weekly or monthly business or career goals. It's all about taking small, manageable steps toward your big goals. These steps will help you grow because they increase in difficulty.
7 - Turn Envy Into Momentum
Instead of feeling salty when others succeed, see it as a chance to get inspired for your own growth. Wait for the envy to wash over you. Let it go.
So next time you feel inadequate or competitive, take a closer look at how those successful folks got there.
What would happen if you let them inspire you?
What would happen if you learned from their achievements?
Appreciated the hard work they put in,
and used it as fuel for your own progress and happiness?
How would you feel if you celebrated others instead of feeling inferior?
This change not only makes you feel better but also pushes you closer to your own goals. Let others' success motivate you rather than upset you. You'll learn and grow much faster if you choose inspiration.
8 - Keep At It
Feeling good about yourself isn't something you do every now and then, it's a lifestyle. Similar to how you know you should take care of your body by exercising and eating right.
Stay positive by remembering your strengths, being kind to yourself and appreciating all the small victories. And watch out, the inner critic is sneaking up trying to knock down everything, even your joy in the small achievements.
Make it about the big and small successes and about learning from mistakes.
Confidence is like a wheel; you can learn to dial it up at will. Most humans have days when confidence is off. When we're not feeling too good. You know what? That's totally fine.
Allow your confidence a break if you need to. Do what you need to do that day but look after yourself—it's part of the journey. Tomorrow you'll be ready to dial it up again!
Tips and Reminders for Healing Low Self-Esteem
Patience is Key: Building confidence is a gradual process. Be patient with yourself.
Get support: Find a mentor, therapist, or a friend who can give you encouragement and constructive feedback.
Continuous Learning: Boost your confidence by improving your skills and knowledge. And by challenging yourself to take a small step every day. It's going to add up with time.
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