Private & Reserved Or Happy To Share Your Message On Social Media?

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Ever found yourself teetering on the edge of speaking up, your words trapped by a hesitation you can't shake? A little known anxiety can impact your ability to market your business.

You're not alone.

Many people live on the tricky terrain of communication apprehension. Their fear of sharing their voice affects their ability to share their message. They're fighting a quiet battle against their unwillingness to speak up.

Let's tackle the heart of the matter – the hesitation to share. No more tiptoeing around the edges of your thoughts. Here's how communication anxiety affects your marketing, especially if you're planning to be on social media.

I'll show you strategies that help you transcend the fear and help you build confidence.

 

Communication Apprehension Definition

 

J McCroskey defines communication apprehension as the ‘fear or anxiety associated with either real or anticipated communication with another person or persons’. Our innate desire to be accepted causes this anxiety. We fear being evaluated or judged.

Communication apprehension, speaking apprehension, speech anxiety are all common terms for this. Some people experience it in specific situations. Others feel anxious in nearly all communication contexts.

A number of communication situations can trigger someone's fear of speaking up. According to McCroskey, there's four types of communication apprehension:

1. trait
2. context (level of formality, uncertain elements, novelty)
3. audience (size, status, familiarity)
4. situational communication apprehension (which McCroskey defines as 'the unique combination of influences generated by audience, time and context')

 Or in a simpler way we could ask: 

Is this communication anxiety a personality trait?
Or does it occur depending on the situation you find yourself in?
Either way, we can drastically reduce this anxiety and help you become a confident speaker and presenter (Spoiler alert! Your nerves will make your delivery all the better, see point 8 below)

 

Communication Apprehension Examples / Situations

 

• avoiding speaking in front of an audience
• not going for the interview, promotion, award
• holding back in front of certain people (audience based communication apprehension)
• withdrawing during group discussions
• not sharing opinions in social or work settings
• not sharing your voice on social media
• holding back from speaking up
• hesitating to engage in one-on-one conversations
• resisting communication tools like phones or video calls

Why You Need To Share On Social As A Biz Owner

 

'What will people think about me?'

'I'm too tired'

'I can't be bothered today'

'I'm a naturally reserved person' 

These thoughts prevent you from engaging on social media. They seem innocuous but they silence you.

You might be telling yourself that you're not engaging today because you're too tired. Or because you can't be bothered today. That's okay, we all have days when we want to take it easy.

Maybe you think of yourself as a reserved or private person.

 

Do You Have A Message To Share? What If Your Business Depends On You Sharing Your Message? 

 

You’ll have to learn a new skill, reserved personality or not. 

Truth is, as a business owner you have to share your voice, message, opinions, stories, and offerings with the world. At events. On social media.

The more you share it the more seeds you plant. The bigger the chance that the right person will find you and buy from you. And you can learn to love this process.

Depending on your business you'll express

• your brand voice (where you can hide behind your logo to a degree). Product based businesses fall into this camp.
• your personal voice and perspective. You’re advised to do this if you are a course creator, coach, consultant, expert.

In short: you'll have to show personality if you sell your services. This is especially true if you sell high ticket programs. Remember you don't have to share your personal life, but do aim to share your personality.

Your voice is your unique perspective that sets you apart in a crowded online world so use it.

Sharing your passion and expertise creates a connection with your audience. Authenticity draws them in.

The stories you tell can inspire, educate, and uplift others, sparking meaningful conversations and creating real connections.

Sharing who you are, what you do and what you sell on social media shows the value you bring. It attracts your ideal clients, and ultimately, grows your business.

Don't hold back. Be heard, be seen, share your stories. You'll see how your presence on social media transforms your business and impacts lives.

 

Symptoms Of Communication Anxiety

 

Communication apprehension takes all kinds of shapes: from mild discomfort to severe anxiety. The latter makes it hard to communicate. It manifests in physical symptoms and psychological symptoms.

 

Psychological symptoms of communication apprehension

• nerves, nervousness, energy, charge
• self conscious
• self-doubt
• feeling uncomfortable, uneasy, out of your depth
• feeling inferior, not knowledgeable, not fun, awkward
• feeling like a spare part
• not getting a word in
• feeling irritated with confident speakers
• berating oneself
• racing thoughts, mind blank, forgetting your point
• jumbling your words
• using filler words 'uhh', 'ummm', 'like',
• using modifier words 'really'
• regretting not speaking up - afterwards
• entertaining negative thoughts about one's ability to communicate effectively
• avoiding social and communication situations
• dropping into social anxiety
• avoidance
• procrastination 
• etc

 

Communication apprehension can manifest in physical symptoms such as

• sweating (e.g. sweaty palms)
• trembling
• increased heart rate
• feeling nauseous
• losing your voice
• dry mouth
• blushing
• tension
• rapid breathing
• sympathetic nervous system activation
• nervous system shutdown
• etc

 

How Communication Apprehension Affects Your Social Media Game

 

Not posting

If you experience nervousness around communication you might steer clear of posting on social platforms. You might fear reaction or judgement from your audience.

 

Editing and deleting posts

The cycle of self-doubt and second-guessing is an obstacle to sharing your voice on social media. Constantly tweaking and deleting posts on social media. Being driven by a nagging fear of how your content might be received.

 

Not engaging

Ever felt hesitant to dive into conversations or respond to comments on social media? That's a classic sign of communication apprehension. The fear of saying the wrong thing or not keeping up with the conversation holds you back.

 

Limited sharing

Some business owners play it safe with their social media content. They won't step into uncomfortable territory by sticking to topics that are 'safe'. Be the marmite. Business thrives if people either love you or hate you.

 

Feeling overwhelmed

The chaos and noise of social media! The constant upkeep of trends, posting schedules, and maintaining an online presence can feel overwhelming. So. Many. People.

 

Comparing and self-doubting

Ever find yourself scrolling through social feeds, comparing your life to the highlight reels of others? This breeds self-doubt and insecurity, making authentic sharing hard and magnifying existing hesitation to share.

 

Overemphasising negative feedback

If you're anxious about communication, getting negative feedback can be crushing. In turn, this reinforces fears and reluctance.

 

What Causes Communication Apprehension?

 

Various factors contribute to communication apprehension, including

• past negative experiences, past conditioning, past programming
• lack of confidence in one's communication skills
• fear of judgement or criticism from others
• or a tendency towards anxiety 

 

When To Tackle Communication Anxiety

 

Communication anxiety can start early since it is common in primary school kids. Heal this condition as soon as possible. Otherwise you run the risk of allowing barriers to expression. If left unchecked, communication apprehension can limit personal and professional growth and damage relationships.

 

Start Healing From Communication Apprehension

 

So if this resonates then know that you can change your thinking today (and start reducing anxiety)

• Communication isn't this challenging thing you'll be judged on. It's part of being human. It helps us listen to each other and understand each other.
• You're not alone if you experience speaking nerves. Up to 74% of Americans have some level of speaking anxiety. And some folks are more fearful of speaking in public than death.
• This also means that 74% of people listening to you at any given time also have some speaking anxiety. You'll be the 'brave one' because you stand up in front (or on camera) and deliver a speech or share your message.
• The audience you to do well. They’re on your side. They're here to be entertained or educated. So give what they came for!

  

How To Overcome Communication Apprehension

 

To wrap up, here’s some practical steps on what you can do today to start overcoming avoidance of speaking up.

 

1 - Get Clear On What Exactly You’re Anxious About

Before you start healing anything you need to get a clear picture of what is bothering you. Identify where the emotional charge comes from and how you want the result to look like.

A therapist can help you with this as they're trained to analyse your situation and create a treatment plan just for you.

Want to start working on it right now? Identify a specific situation you want to improve. For example: 'I want to speak naturally on my livestream and engage and capture my audience').

You'll uncover all your limiting beliefs, behaviours, and emotions if you look at one situation carefully. From there it'll be easier to create an action plan for you.

 

2 - Relax

Learn relaxation techniques: breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, mindfulness. Use the techniques to centre yourself. Over time, any anxiety-provoking situation won't affect you as much.

 

3 - Face Your Fear In Small Steps

Some people think the best thing to do is to ignore the fear. For long term results it's better to break your fear down and take small steps to work through and resolve it. Identify ways you can face your fear in incremental steps. And always take time to relax to balance out your system.

You can do that by gradually getting yourself used to the anxiety provoking situation:

• Face IRL situations you’re uncomfortable with
• Imagine yourself in an anxiety-inducing speaking situation (this is especially effective if done during hypnotherapy).
• Practice and role-play the situation you find daunting 

 

4 - Acknowledge Your Milestones So That You Grow

Celebrate each mini milestone you've taken. Honestly, give your mind, heart, soul a moment of celebration so that your system can register you’ve evolved.

You have reached a new level. Now integrate your learning. Understand and internalise your progress so that you're ready to climb the next step.

 

5 - Reframe Your Thoughts 

• Here’s one of the techniques I use with my clients that you can try at home:
• Worst case check in. Ask yourself: what's the worst you expect to happen?
• You may be making a bigger problem out of the 'worst case' than it is.
• You might start realising that the consequences you were worried about aren't so bad. Or that they're unlikely to happen! 
• Open your eyes to ALL possibilities, not just the negative ones.

 

6 - Replace Negative Beliefs 

• Challenge negative thoughts. Chances are that what you're thinking is far worse than what others might be thinking about you. They're too busy with their own life!)
• Self-talk like 'I'm a mess' or 'I'm going to look stupid' will only make your speaking nerves worse.
• Identify each negative thought and replace it with a supportive belief.
• Recite a calming mantra. Choose a simple yet meaningful mantra and focus on it. 

 

7 - Learn To Become A Speaker  

For some people speaking nerves can be justified.

You might for example bring on anxiety if you hop on stage but don't know what you're going to say!

Don't rely on improv skills or on your ability to channel a higher power if you're just starting. This can work for experienced speakers. But if you're just beginning your speaking career you'll be less nervous if you have your speech laid out in your head.

Develop your skill set by picking up a bunch of speaking tricks. For example: experiment with eye contact with an audience member. Maybe it reassures you to focus on a friendly face in your audience.

 

8 - Let Your Nervous Energy Fuel Your Performance 

Here's a thought that'll blow your mind. The most heartfelt speakers are nervous speakers. Those that feel a charge when they're sharing their message. We feel the raw emotion moving them.

Thank yourself and channel your nerves into passion. Use them as a delivery force. Feel the anxiety and let it rush through you and fuel you. 

Compare this to someone droning on in a monotonous, relaxed way because they're so at ease speaking!

 

9 - Solve Problems, Visualise Success 

Whilst it’s good to have a game plan for specific problems, you want to envision success, not failure. Redefine what success means to you. Be specific. And finally know that using your voice, even with a bump or two in the road, is a win over fear.

 

10 - Get Yourself Some Support

You can overcome communication apprehension. A specialist can help diagnose the level of anxiety you experience during communication. Find someone who has empathy with where you are now and who is trained to treat you.

 

In short, you can learn strategies for overcoming communication apprehension

• learning relaxation techniques 
• examining and changing thinking to challenge negative thoughts 
• gradual easing into communication situations 
• anchoring in supportive beliefs and behaviours with hypnotherapy
• seeking support from peers or professionals such as communication coaches or therapists 

If you've read this and it helped you then don't hesitate to book yourself in for a no commitment clarity call. Lines are always open for you. 

 

Until next week

xo Gwen