These Science-Backed Methods Can Change The Way You Show Up In Life And Business

Have you ever kept quiet instead of saying hello? Do you routinely avoid eye contact when entering a space? How about genuinely complimenting someone?

You might have too many walls up if these ideas make you cringe. But before you go, do you realise that social interactions lift our mood? Even the most introverted introvert craves human connection, so why do we isolate ourselves? 

Building rapport doesn’t have to be daunting. Let’s dive into ten science-backed tips to create genuine, fulfilling connections.

The Importance of Authentic Relationships For Entrepreneurs

In a more and more digitised age, it's so important to build and maintain authentic relationships—especially in business. We want to make a difference, serve our clients and students and provide solutions that change lives.

It's not just about sharing skills and expertise, it's about connecting, inspiring, and engaging with others. The ability to build trust and client relationships directly impacts your bottom line.

However, many people struggle with social anxiety, often due to fear of rejection. They're afraid to connect to others and show their true feelings. If they run a business, they’ll hold back on marketing, won’t be able to sell from the heart, so they never grow. Neither personally nor professionally!

But this isn't only for entrepreneurs. We all need relationships to succeed and thrive in life.

This guide is designed to help you overcome social anxiety and build deeper, more genuine connections. The strategies below will empower you to connect and thrive like never before, whether you're trying to strengthen your network, improve your team, or simply  feel more comfortable in social situations.

So, let’s dive in and discover how to transform your social life and lead with heart, purpose, and authenticity.

1. Don't Hesitate To Reach Out First

We can all have a better social life if we’d only stop assuming that others ‘prefer solitude’. This goes back to the idea that we feel we’re interrupting, imposing and are somehow in the way. But here’s the truth: humans are curious and social creatures. We underestimate how much others want to be with us. Research shows that our preference for being alone can stem from this misunderstanding. Next time you’re hesitant to strike up a conversation, remember that the other person will likely enjoy the convo just as much as you do. And of course, test the waters first. Make eye contact, smile. Check if the person wants to chat. If you do not get a response, move on.

A year ago, I met a colleague at an event. She seemed quiet and reserved, and I initially assumed she wanted to be left alone. But when I finally approached her and struck up a conversation, turns out, she was keen to chat and make new connections. We ended up having a laugh, and she later told me how glad she was that I made the first move. So it's fair to say that it's possible to misjudge others' desire for connection, missing out on meaningful encounters.

2. Be Honest: Do People Enjoy Chatting With You?

Have you ever walked away from a conversation doubting whether the other person enjoyed speaking to you? People underestimate their ability to have engaging conversations. They don't realise how much their conversation partners enjoy talking to them. This phenomenon is known as the 'liking gap' and it says that the negative impression you think you made is only in your head. Let go of those self-doubts and trust that others find you more likeable than you think!

After attending a party, one of my clients was convinced that no one really enjoyed talking to her. However, the next day, she woke up to a few messages of people she chatted with saying how nice it was to meet her. This showed her that her self-doubt was unwarranted and that people genuinely liked her more than she believed.

3. Visualise Positive Social Interactions

Think like a pro athlete: visualise success. Imagine yourself being confident in social situations. Visualisation can be a powerful tool to get your brain from avoidance mode to approach mode. Picture yourself enjoying interactions, feeling comfortable and accepted. This positive outlook helps you take action. By mentally repeating these positive scenarios and behaviours, they'll stick. The more you practise, the more confident you'll feel.

One of my clients was nervous about a conference coming up. She agreed to sit quietly for a few moments each morning visualising herself chatting to new people, engaging in meaningful conversations, and feeling at ease. When the event came, my client felt more prepared and less anxious, and had an excellent time meeting new people.

4. Bring On The Compliments And The Appreciation

Want to create an instant positive impact? Give genuine compliments and don't hide your appreciation. Research shows that these small acts of friendliness can significantly boost relationships. Compliments make people feel valued, and appreciation deepens your connection. So don’t hold back – let people know what you admire about them and how grateful you are for their presence in your life.

Let's check in. How do you feel when you get an honest compliment? Uplifted, delighted, glad, or at least a little pleased? I bet you do. 

I'm not talking about fake compliments. We want to show genuine appreciation, not flattery. People can tell if a compliment is heartfelt or simply a means to an end. So if you're connecting from the heart you can't get it wrong. 

One woman I worked with felt daunted on instagram. She wanted to stop hiding and build connections with more other accounts instead. She decided not to hold back her appreciation, genuine thanks and compliments. Immediately she felt the atmosphere shift to warm and welcoming and she built a lot of great connections on the platform.

5. Share What’s Really Going On With You

Skip the small talk and share what truly matters to you more often. You'd be surprised at the effect this has. People will start opening up to you if you reveal your authentic self and what's really happening in your life. Research shows that true relationships blossom through vulnerability and real conversation. So next time, look beyond the weather and share your dreams, fears, and experiences.

When I decided to share about my own insecurities and anxiety on social media people started getting in touch. Opening up on social about how I overcame my fear of being seen and my struggles with public speaking brought my community together. This honest conversation strengthened our bond and turned us into a close-knit group.

6. Watch Yourself Grow

Use video feedback to see yourself in social situations. Compare what you see with the unflattering image you have of yourself, and you might be surprised to find that your fears are often unfounded. This practice can help you realise that you’re doing much better than you think.

I used to avoid watching any footage of myself public speaking. One day, I decided it's time to face up and learn where I can improve. So I watched a recording of myself giving a presentation. Watching the video, I noticed that I appeared much more confident and composed than I had felt! This helped me see that my self-perception can be skewed and gave me more confidence the next time.

7. Be Open To New Experiences

Step out of your comfort zone and try new social experiences. By facing your fears head-on, you’ll see that they’re not as scary as you imagined. Each new experience can boost your confidence and reshape your beliefs about social interactions.

A client decided to join a local book club, even though she was nervous about meeting new people. Initially, it was intimidating, but she sat through the first meetup and quickly found the group welcoming and friendly. This new experience helped her build confidence in social settings and realise that meeting new people can be enjoyable.

8. Rewrite Negative Memories 

Think back to negative social experiences and imagine them turning out positively. This technique can help you reframe those memories, reducing their emotional impact and building your confidence for the future. Note: this is not endless rumination. It's a focused practice of a couple of minutes visualising yourself handling a challenging situation. 

A client had a negative experience at a party where she felt ignored. To rewrite this,  she imagined a scenario where she confidently joined a group, made eye contact and smiled, engaged in the conversation and was warmly received. Over time, this helped lessen the sting of the original memory and made her feel more positive about attending social gatherings in the future.

9. Mentally Work Through Hiccups

Similarly, spend a couple of minutes visualising how you're overcoming a hiccup in a social situation. This will make you more resilient because you will be prepared. Note that this is a quick visualisation allowing you to act strong and positively. It's the technique multiple Olympic gold medallist Michael Phelps used to perfect his performance. He mentally rehearsed various challenges, for example what he'd do if his goggles filled with water. This technique gives us an advantage as we're less likely to spin out if something isn't going to plan.

Part of preparing a client to go on a panel talk for example is for them to rehearse a list of hiccups: technology bugging out, having a mind blank, coughing fits, a heckler, and then visualising how they're dealing with that obstacle. So they know exactly what might happen and are prepared to handle it. 

10. Positive Goals, Baby Steps, Easy Wins

If you tend to withdraw and avoid social situations but want to get out more, you can set goals to engage more. Think easy wins and baby steps to get out of your shell. This can gradually increase in challenge as you build your social muscle. Approach each social situation with the intention to connect and enjoy, rather than to separate and hide who you are.

After reaching the goal to smile and make eye contact when walking into the office for a week, my client set a goal to attend at least one monthly social event. Her goal was to introduce herself to three new people. By focusing on this positive goal, she gradually reduced her avoidance behaviours and started enjoying social interactions more and more.

Bonus Tip: Hypnotherapy And Guided Visualisation

Consider using hypnotherapy or guided visualisation techniques to enhance these practices. Hypnotherapy brings deep relaxation, and can help you tap into your subconscious mind where you will be more receptive to positive suggestions and imagery.

Be Kind To Yourself

This is the biggie.

Self-compassion is key. Hating on yourself strengthens negative beliefs and feelings. Treat yourself with the same kindness and encouragement you’d offer a loved one. You deserve it.

Introduce these strategies one by one (pick the easiest one for you) and watch your social world transform. You have the power to create deeper, more fulfilling connections and a more prosperous career and business as a result. Go out there and shine, beautiful soul!